Related:

• Deliberation, n.: The act of examining one's bread to determine which side it is buttered on.
  -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...
• I know on which side my bread is buttered. -- John Heywood
• Law of Selective Gravity: An object will fall so as to do the most damage.
  Jenning's Corollary: The chance of the bread falling with the buttered side down is directly proportional to the cost of the carpet....
• Law of Selective Gravity: An object will fall so as to do the most damage.
  Jenning's Corollary: The chance of the bread falling with the buttered side down is directly proportional to the cost of the carpet....
• Do not worry about which side your bread is buttered on: you eat BOTH sides.
• Crittendon's 14th application of Murphy's First Law
  You cannot successfully determine beforehand which side of the bread to butter....
• Law of the Perversity of Nature: You cannot successfully determine beforehand which side of the bread to butter.