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• Instead of giving money to found colleges to promote learning, why don't they pass a constitutional amendment prohibiting anybody from learning anything?
  If it works as good as the Prohibition one did, why, in five years we would have the smartest race of people on earth....
• Every man should have a college education in order to show him how little the thing is really worth.
  Elbert Hubbard...
• Women are great! Every man should own one!!!!!
• Jack's Gourmet Taglines: Best and Freshest Every Day!
• Bart: Hmm, I wonder where Jimbo is today? He should have beaten us up for our lunch money an hour ago.
  Uter: [cutting in line] Oh, lunch lady? Please to have another sloppy Jimbo?...
• The best advice I've ever received is the advice I have for young broadcaste
  The best way to sound like you know what you're talking about is to know what you're talking about....
• The man who gets on best with women is the one who knows best how to get on without them.
  -- Pierre Baudelaire...
• Only an inventor knows how to borrow, and every man is or should be an inventor.
  -- Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803-1882)...
• The man she had was kind and clean And well enough for every day, But oh, dear friends, you should have seen The one that got away.
  -- Dorothy Parker, "The Fisherwoma...