Related:

• When you are ready to reply to a letter, you will lack at least one of the following
  (a) A pen or pencil or typewriter. (b) Stationery....
• Never ask two questions in a business letter. The reply will discuss the one you are least interested, and say nothing about the other.
• Weed's Axiom: Never ask two questions in a business letter.
  The reply will discuss the one in which you are least interested and say nothing about the other....
• Never ask two questions in a business letter. The reply will discuss the one in which you are least interested and say nothing about the other.
  -- Weed's Axiom...
• Dear Sally. In response to you letter of December the 12th 1966, me favourite colour is blue, and me real first name is Richard.
  Thanks for the snapshot. You're a real cute bird....
• Write yourself a threatening letter and pen a defiant reply.
• You know you've been hacking too long when... ...after writing a big report, you try to backspace in a pen and paper letter.
• Howden's Law: You remember to mail a letter only when you're nowhere near a mailbox.