Related:

• The stapler runs out of staples only while you are trying to staple something.
  -- Hitchcock's Staple Principle...
• Whaddya mean you don't STAPLE diskette labels on?
• Finding a good man is like trying to staple Jello to a tree.
• HEALTH: Never go to the hospital or visit a doctor.
  If you have a stroke, keep drinking and act like you prefer to use only one side of your body....
• He draweth out the thread of his verbosity finer than the staple of his argument.
  -- William Shakespeare, "Love's Labour's Lo...
• SPC Staple and Punch new Center hole
• Homer: Hello, I'd like to speak with a Mr. Snotball, first name Ura.
  Moe: Ura Snotball? Homer: What? How dare you? If I find out who this is, I'll staple a flag to your butt and mail you to Iran....
• He draweth out the thread of his verbosity finer than the staple of his argument.
  -- William Shakespeare (1564-1616), Love's Labour 's Lost -- Act v, Sc. 1...
• Either a good or a bad reputation gets there before you do, since it always out runs the possessor.
  It's nice, when you arrive, to have something good there before you get there....