Related:

• Chester: He didn't create Itchy: I did. Bart: Huh?
  Chester: He stole the character from me in 1928. When I complained, his thugs kicked me out of his office, and dropped an anvil on me....
• My wife doesn't give me any trouble anymore. She died.
  I had her cremated. I mixed in a little marijuana and smoked her....
• I love war....Peace will be hell for me. -- George S. Patto
• When I think about myself, I almost laugh myself to death
  My life has been one great big joke, Sixty years in these folks' world A dance that's walked The child I works for calls me girl A song that's spoke, I say "Yes ma'am" for working's sake....
• He looked at me as if I was a side dish he hadn't ordered.
• My wife divorced me because I was having fries on the side.
• I honestly believe that the doctrine of hell was born in the glittering eyes of snakes that run in frightful coils watching for their prey.
  I believe it was born with the yelping, howling, growling and snarling of wild beasts....
• I hold your hand in mine, dear, I press it to my lip
  I take a healthy bite from your dainty fingertips, My joy would be complete, dear, if you were only here, But still I keep your hand as a precious souvenir....