Related:

• McEwan's Rule of Relative Importance: When traveling with a herd of elephants, don't be the first to lie down and rest.
• When in doubt, tell a lie. -- Liberal Rule # 1
• Usenet is like a herd of performing elephants with diarrhea -- massive
  difficult to redirect, awe-inspiring, entertaining, and a source of mind- boggling amounts of excrement when you least expect it....
• Quote #123 "Usenet is like a herd of performing elephants with diarrhea -- massive
  difficult to redirect, awe-inspiring, entertaining, and a source of mind- boggling amounts of excrement when you least expect it....
• When traveling with children on one's holidays, at least one child of any number of children will request a rest room stop exactly half way between any two given rest rooms.
  -- Mervyn Cripp...
• Priority: A statement of the importance of a user or a program.
  Often expressed as a relative priority, indicating that the user doesn't care when the work is completed so long as he is treated less badly than someone else....
• When alerted to an intrusion by tinkling glass or otherwise, 1) Calm yourself 2) Identify the intruder 3) If hostile, kill him.
  Step number 3 is of particular importance. If you leave the guy alive out of misguided softheartedness, he will repay your generosity of spirit by suing you for causing his subsequent paraplegia and seek to force you to support him for the rest of his rotten life....
• Trumpet in a herd of elephants; crow in the company of cock
  bleat in a flock of goats. Malayan Proverb...