Related:

• Research is the best place to be: you work your buns off, and if it works you're a hero
  if it doesn't, well--nobody else has done it yet either, so you're still a valiant nerd....
• You use unfamiliar words -- please re-phrase it, or try something else.
• Minister, have you finished with that re-drafted re-draft of the draft proposal yet?
  No Humphrey, do you need it back? Yes minister, I'm afraid it needs re-drafting!...
• 1] If at all possible, don't. Let someone else do it.
  2] Change majors. 3] Insert/remove blank lines at random spots, re-compile, and execute....
• Homer: Shary Bobbins, I want another beer. Shary: Well, you know, Homer [musical intro, Shary starts singing] If there's a job that must be done, You'll find it's much more fun.
  .. Homer: [interrupting] You'll find it's even _more_ fun if _you_ get it for _me_!...
• Afterlyfe.sys not found! Do you want to re-incarnate?
• And the RESET button lets you re-run AUTOEXEC.BAT!
• On the other hand, the TCP camp also has a phrase for OSI people.
  There are lots of phrases. My favorite is `nitwit' -- and the rationale is the Internet philosophy has always been you have extremely bright, non-partisan researchers look at a topic, do world-class research, do several competing implementations, have a bake-off, determine what works best, write it down and make that the standard....