Related:

• Telephone books are like dictionaries -- if you know the answer before you look it up, you can eventually reaffirm what you thought you knew but weren't sure.
  But if you're searching for something you don't already know, your fingers could walk themselves to death....
• When you look like your passport photo, it's time to go home. -- Erma Bombeck
• I know you think you thought you knew what you thought I said, but I'm not sure you understood what you thought I meant.
• Housework can kill you if done right. -- Erma Bombeck
• Lisa: [writing] I propose to determine the answer to the questio
  is my brother dumber than a hamster? Bart: Hey Lis, look what I can do!...
• When you don't know what to do, walk fast and look worried.
• But some emotions don't make a lot of noise. It's hard to hear pride.
  Caring is real faint - like a heartbeat. And pure love - why, some days it's so quiet, you don't even know it's there....
• You know you have a small apartment when... you can answer the telephone from the bed, the kitchen table, the sink or the shower.
  -- S. Rickly Christia...