Related:

• Never lend books, for no one ever returns them; the only books I have in my library are books that other folks have lent to me.
  -- Anatole France...
• George's friend Sam had a dog who could recite the Gettysburg Address.
  Let me buy him from you," pleaded George after a demonstration....
• I know how you feel. I lost my dog, too. He's in here somewhere.
• Mr. Mitchell: Hi there. How can I help you? Bart: _You're_ the guy who owns the dog?
  Mr. Mitchell: Yep. His name is Sprinkles. Bart: Sprinkles?...
• Homer: First Bush invades my home turf, then he takes my pals, then he makes fun of the way I talk -- probably.
  Now he steals my right to raise a disobedient, smart-alecky son!...
• Home is wherever my books are. -- Charade
• All right, I jump...Now on the way down, I activate my ring of feather fall.
  ..no, wait, didn't I lend it to Jim?...
• Lend money to a bad debtor and he will hate you.