George's friend Sam had a dog who could recite the Gettysburg Address. "Let
me buy him from you," pleaded George after a demonstration.
"Okay," agreed Sam. "All he knows is that Lincoln speech anyway."
At his company's Fourth of July picnic, George brought his new pet
and announced that the animal could recite the entire Gettysburg Address.
No one believed him, and they proceeded to place bets against the dog.
George quieted the crowd and said, "Now we'll begin!" Then he looked at
the dog. The dog looked back. No sound. "Come on, boy, do your stuff."
Nothing. A disappointed George took his dog and went home.
"Why did you embarrass me like that in front of everybody?" George
yelled at the dog. "Do you realize how much money you lost me?"
"Don't be silly, George," replied the dog. "Think of the odds we're
gonna get on Labor Day."
Let me tell you who the actual "front-runners" are. On one side, you have
George Bush, who is currently going through a sort of fraternity hazing
wherein he has to perform a series of humiliating stunts to win the approval
of the Republican Right....
