Related:

• Though you live near a forest, do not waste firewood. Chinese Proverb
• If whales are so damned clever why do they keep swimming near Japan?
• Q: Why do people who live near Niagara Falls have flat foreheads?
  A: Because every morning they wake up thinking "What *is* that noise? Oh, right, *of course*!...
• Jesus lived in a Near Eastern land. Elvis: a nearly eastern state.
• It does not do to leave a dragon out of your calculations, if you live near him.
  -- J.R.R. Tolkie...
• Homer: Oh, what does it matter, we're doomed! [a seagull flies into view] Flande
  Wrong, we're saved! Seagulls always stay near land....
• I am not the rose, but I have lived near the rose. -- H. B. Constant (1767-1830)
• I even feel alone when you're near, 'cause you'll never understand.
• Greetings from Near, Miss.