Related:

• Two men were out fishing. They noticed a squirrel go out on a downed limb, to retrieve a nut sitting at the very end of the limb.
  As the squirrel got to the end of the limb, a giant catfish jumped from the water and the squirrel disappeared....
• Derision Preemption: A life-style tactic; the refusal to go out on any sort of emotional limb so as to avoid mockery from peers.
  Derision Preemption is the main goal of Knee-Jerk Irony. -- Douglas Coupland, Generation X...
• Where does the fire go when the fire goes out?
• Marge: I hope the children enjoy my special fruit punch.
  Lisa: We got the recipe from the Fruit Punch Advisory Board....
• HEALTH: Never go to the hospital or visit a doctor.
  If you have a stroke, keep drinking and act like you prefer to use only one side of your body....
• All persons, living or dead, are purely coincidental, and should not be construed.
  -- Kurt Vonnegut 117. A faithful dog will always stay with you And laugh with you --or cry-- He'll gladly starve to stay with you Nor ever reason why....
• Quote #547 Mulder and Scully represent equal and competing parts of my nature.
  ..I guess I'm a natural skeptic, so I have much of the Scully character in me....
• Homer: Marge, Where's the Duff!?! Marge: Ohh, uh, we're all out, Homer.
  Homer: D'oh! Marge: Would you like some fruit juice?...
• Why do scottish people refuse to buy refrigerators?
  They don't believe that the light will go out when you close the door....