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• When I woke up this morning my girlfriend asked me, 'Did you sleep good?
  ' I said 'No, I made a few mistakes.' -- Steven Wrigh...
• A young man wrote to Mozart and said: Q: "Herr Mozart, I am thinking of writing symphonies.
  Can you give me any suggestions as to how to get started?...
• In bed the other night my girlfriend asked "if you could know exactly when and where you would die, would you want to?
  I said "no". She said, "ok, then forget it". -- Steven Wrigh...
• My girlfriend asked me how long I was going to be gone on this tour.
  I said, "the whole time." -- Steven Wrigh...
• When you're dating you're so insecure. My last relationship, I was always there for her and she dumped me.
  I told her about it. I said, "Remember when your grandma died?...
• I met this girl very aggressively ... I just walked up to her and I said, "Who are you?
  I have to know who you are!" It's a good opener, but you can't sustain that level of excitement....
• I just broke up with someone, and the last thing she said to me wa
  "You'll never find anybody like me again." And I'm thinking...
• Texas A&M football coach Jackie Sherrill went to the office of the Dean of Academics because he was concerned about his players' mental abilities.
  "My players are just too stupid for me to deal with them", he told the unbelieving dean....