You never have to figure out what to get for children, because they will
tell you exactly what they want. They spend months and months researching
these kinds of things by watching Saturday- morning cartoon-show
advertisements. Make sure you get your children exactly what they ask for,
even if you disapprove of their choices. If your child thinks he wants
Murderous Bob, the Doll with the Face You Can Rip Right Off, you'd better
get it. You may be worried that it might help to encourage your child's
antisocial tendencies, but believe me, you have not seen antisocial tendencies
until you've seen a child who is convinced that he or she did not get the
right gift.
-- Dave Barry, "Christmas Shopping: A Survivor's Guide"
What I do, first thing [in the morning], is I hop into the shower
stall. Then I hop right back out, because when I hopped in I landed
barefoot right on top of See Threepio, a little plastic robot character
from "Star Wars" whom my son, Robert, likes to pull the legs off of
while he showers....
