Related:

• Inadmissible: Not competent to be considered. Said of certain kinds of testimony which juries are supposed to be unfit to be entrusted with
  and which judges, therefore, rule out, even of proceedings before themselves alone....
• Bart: We gotta talk. Jessica: Listen, thanks for not turning me in.
  That was sweet. Bart: Well, it seems like if you really care for me, you should come forward....
• A manager was about to be fired, but a programmer who worked for him invented a new program that became popular and sold well.
  As a result, the manager retained his job. The manager tried to give the programmer a bonus, but the programmer refused it, saying, "I wrote the program because I though it was an interesting concept, and thus I expect no reward....
• Did you hear about the Newfie that Backed off the bus because he thought someone would grab his seat.
• Richard, in being so fierce toward my vampire, you were doing what you wanted to do, even though you thought it was going to hurt somebody else.
  He even told you he'd be hurt if..." "He was going to suck my blood!...
• Who is John Galt? Do you know the legend of Atlantis?
  ... The Isles of the Blessed ... Atlantis was a place where hero spirits lived in a happiness unknown to the rest of the world....
• A woman was married to a golfer. One day she asked, "If I were to die, would you remarry?
  After some thought, the man replied, "Yes, I've been very happy in this marriage and I would want to be this happy again....
• If you say, "Would there were no wine" because of the drunkard
  hen you must say, going on by degrees, "Would there were no steel," because of the murderers, "Would there were no night," because of the thieves, "Would there were no light," because of the informers, and "Would there were no women," because of adultery....
• bug n. An unwanted and unintended property of a program or piece of hardware, esp.
  one that causes it to malfunction. Antonym of feature....