Related:

• CHURCH A church is either (a) a big, generally impressive-looking building where people go to indulge in religious activities, or (b) a rash commonly found on the upper-thigh.
  I think it's (b). One well-known cure is to dab it with a cream mixed from worm manure, cow snot and crushed caterpillars....
• Singers do it with microphones.
• GARGOYLE, n. A rain-spout projecting from the eaves of mediaeval buildings, commonly fashioned into a grotesque caricature of some personal enemy of the architect or owner of the building.
  This was especially the case in churches and ecclesiastical structures generally, in which the gargoyles presented a perfect rogues' gallery of local heretics and controversialists....
• I've come to the conclusion that cafe-society people must work for hours in front of their mirrors to acquire that expression that sets in at sunset.
  They all look like they wished to spit but unfortunately had run out of saliva....
• Lighthouses are more helpful than churches. -- Frankli
• You need to acquire a little subtlety.
• Brought to you by High-C, the beverage of Opera singers.
• How wonderful opera would be if there were no singers!