Related:

• MONSIGNOR, n. A high ecclesiastical title, of which the Founder of our religion overlooked the advantages.
  -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...
• ILLUMINATI, n. A sect of Spanish heretics of the latter part of the sixteenth century
  o called because they were light weights -- _cunctationes illuminati_....
• MISERICORDE, n. A dagger which in mediaeval warfare was used by the foot soldier to remind an unhorsed knight that he was mortal.
  -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...
• MOUSE, n. An animal which strews its path with fainting women.
  As in Rome Christians were thrown to the lions, so centuries earlier in Otumwee, the most ancient and famous city of the world, female heretics were thrown to the mice....
• PRIMATE, n. The head of a church, especially a State church supported by involuntary contributions.
  The Primate of England is the Archbishop of Canterbury, an amiable old gentleman, who occupies Lambeth Palace when living and Westminster Abbey when dead....
• HURRICANE, n. An atmospheric demonstration once very common but now generally abandoned for the tornado and cyclone.
  The hurricane is still in popular use in the West Indies and is preferred by certain old-fashioned sea-captains....
• URBANITY, n. The kind of civility that urban observers ascribe to dwellers in all cities but New York.
  Its commonest expression is heard in the words, "I beg your pardon," and it is not consistent with disregard of the rights of others....
• ARCHBISHOP, n. An ecclesiastical dignitary one point holier than a bishop.
  If I were a jolly archbishop, On Fridays I'd eat all the fish up -- Salmon and flounders and smel...
• LIGHTHOUSE, n. A tall building on the seashore in which the government maintains a lamp and the friend of a politician.
  -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...