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• I've finally figured out why airports make you walk so far out to get to your plane.
  It's their way of giving your luggage a head start....
• The most important thing in life is to love someone.
  The second most important thing in life is to have someone love you....
• Life with pets is never dull.
• Your multiple personalities don't prevent you from being dull.
• You may be redneck... if you consider "Outdoor Life" deep reading.
• The whole of life is futile unless you consider it as a sporting proposition.
• Kauffman's First Law of Airports: The distance to the gate is inversely proportional to the time available to catch your flight.
• The distance to the gate is inversely proportional to the time available to catch your flight.
  -- Kauffman's First Law of Airpo...