Related:

• Everybody knows that the dice are loaded. Everybody rolls with their fingers crossed.
  Everybody knows the war is over. Everybody knows the good guys lost....
• here are about 5,000 people who are part of that commitee.
  These guys have a hard time sorting out what day to meet, and whether to eat croissants or doughnuts for breakfast -- let alone how to define how all these complex layers that are going to be agreed upon....
• How many Englishmen -- does it take to screw in a light bulb?
  What do you mean change it? It's a perfectly good bloody bulb!...
• Nice guys really do finish first, they just don't brag about it.
• How come women aren't in the NHL? The guys would rather CHECK them out.
• How many feminists -- does it take to screw in a light bulb?
  None. Women have a supreme court, constitionally protected right to work in the dark if they choose to....
• Col Mustard: "How many husbands have you had?" Mrs White: "Mine, or others?" -- Clue
• How many a dispute could have been deflated into a single paragraph if the disputants had dared to define their terms?
  -- Aristotle...
• Krusty: Now, let's hear it for a great American. Former President Gerald Ford.
  Ford: Thank you, Krusty, for inviting me. Krusty...