Related:

• The mosquito is nature's example of the male/female difference .
  .. The male lives off plants. The female lives off the blood of others....
• Jacques: First, you must get to know your lane. Feel the slickness, feel the slippery finish.
  Caresses it, experience it. Quite smooth, isn't it?...
• An eighty-year-old woman is rocking away the afternoon on her porch when she sees an old, tarnished lamp sitting near the steps.
  She picks it up, rubs it gently, and lo and behold a genie appears!...
• The teacher asked three boys to write an essay. She said, "Write on what you would do if you had a million dollars, and bring it in tomorrow.
  So the next day the three little boys came in. She said to the first boy, "Percy, this is a nice essay on what you'd do with a million dollars....
• We're going to find out tonight who the oldest lady in the audience is.
  And we have a marvelous present for her. When we find the oldest lady, we're going to give her ....
• You may be redneck... if you have a ham hanging from your front porch.
• Nobert Weiner was the subject of many dotty professor stories.
  Weiner was, in fact, very absent minded. The following story is told about him...
• Two Finns and a penguin are sitting on the front porch of a large house.
  The penguin is dripping in sweat; his owner looks down and says to the other Finn, "Hey Urho, I want that you should take the penguin to the zoo, okay?...
• boot v.,n. [techspeak; from `by one's bootstraps'] To load and initialize the operating system on a machine.
  This usage is no longer jargon (having passed into techspeak) but has given rise to some derivatives that are still jargon....