Related:

• Did you hear about the Newfie that Was feeling low, so he got his face slapped.
• Did you hear about the Newfie that Put iodine on his pay cheque because he got a cut in pay.
• I did cancel one performance in Holland where they thought my music was so easy that they didn't rehearse at all.
  And so the first time when I found that out, I rehearsed the orchestra myself in front of the audience of 3,000 people and the next day I rehearsed through the second movement -- this was the piece _Cheap Imitation_ -- and they then were ashamed....
• Did you hear about the meanest man in the world didn't tell his wife he was sterile until she got pregnant.
• Did you hear about the Las Vegas high roller who would flip his nightly callgirl to see if he got head or tail.
• Did you hear about the loner who gave up his solitary vice for Lent -- except on Palm Sunday.
• I went up into the attic with the wife the other day.
  Dirty, filthy, covered in cobwebs. But she's good with the kids....
• Did you hear about the farmer who couldn't keep his hands off his wife so he fired them.
• He who is outside his door already has a hard part of his journey behind him. Dutch Proverb