Related:

• Make Welfare as hard to get as a building permit.
• mean time between failures -- when you get an "F" on your report card and you take it out on your dog.
• A very drunk man is trying his key on a hole in the lamp post.
  A police officer comes by, notices that the man is terribly drunk and suggests that there is no one home in the lamp post....
• A sequel is an admission that you've been reduced to imitating yourself. -- Don Marqui
• Asking a working writer what he thinks about critics is like asking a lamp-post how it feels about dogs.
  -- Christopher Hampto...
• Being the #2 man in the Justice Department under Ed Meese is akin to standing next to a lamp post infested with pigeons.
  -- unamed Justice Department official...
• Never stand between a dog and a fire hydrant!
• The difference between a dog and a fox? About ten drinks.