DUEL, n. A formal ceremony preliminary to the reconciliation of two
enemies. Great skill is necessary to its satisfactory observance; if
awkwardly performed the most unexpected and deplorable consequences
sometimes ensue. A long time ago a man lost his life in a duel.
That dueling's a gentlemanly vice
I hold; and wish that it had been my lot
To live my life out in some favored spot --
Some country where it is considered nice
To split a rival like a fish, or slice
A husband like a spud, or with a shot
Bring down a debtor doubled in a knot
And ready to be put upon the ice.
Some miscreants there are, whom I do long
To shoot, to stab, or some such way reclaim
The scurvy rogues to better lives and manners,
I seem to see them now -- a mighty throng.
It looks as if to challenge _me_ they came,
Jauntily marching with brass bands and banners!
Xamba Q. Dar
-- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary"
Wizards are constantly subject to negative publicity. A case in point. One
elderly wizard of my acquaintance, whenever he was bothered by unexpected
guests, would immediately cast one of three spells upon them, either turning
them to stone, transforming them into segmented worms, or blasting them
entirely out of the kingdom....
