Related:

• KORAN, n. A book which the Mohammedans foolishly believe to have been written by divine inspiration, but which Christians know to be a wicked imposture, contradictory to the Holy Scriptures.
  -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...
• Occident, n.: The part of the world lying west (or east) of the Orient.
  It is largely inhabited by Christians, powerful sub-tribe of the Hypocrites, whose principal industries are murder and cheating, which they are pleased to call "war" and "commerce....
• OCCIDENT, n. The part of the world lying west (or east) of the Orient.
  It is largely inhabited by Christians, a powerful subtribe of the Hypocrites, whose principal industries are murder and cheating, which they are pleased to call "war" and "commerce....
• ARENA, n. In politics, an imaginary rat-pit in which the statesman wrestles with his record.
  -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...
• HYDRA, n. A kind of animal that the ancients catalogued under many heads.
  -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...
• Bacchus, n.: A convenient deity invented by the ancients as an excuse for getting drunk.
  -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...
• GNOSTICS, n. A sect of philosophers who tried to engineer a fusion between the early Christians and the Platonists.
  The former would not go into the caucus and the combination failed, greatly to the chagrin of the fusion managers....
• AVERNUS, n. The lake by which the ancients entered the infernal regions.
  The fact that access to the infernal regions was obtained by a lake is believed by the learned Marcus Ansello Scrutator to have suggested the Christian rite of baptism by immersion....