Related:

• TEETOTALER, n. One who abstains from strong drink, sometimes totally, sometimes tolerably totally.
  -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...
• DIAGNOSIS, n. A physician's forecast of the disease by the patient's pulse and purse.
  -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...
• EJECTION, n. An approved remedy for the disease of garrulity.
  It is also much used in cases of extreme poverty. -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...
• Distress, n.: A disease incurred by exposure to the prosperity of a friend.
  -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...
• Distress, n.: A disease incurred by exposure to the prosperity of a friend.
  -- Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary...
• LAUGHTER, n. An interior convulsion, producing a distortion of the features and accompanied by inarticulate noises.
  It is infectious and, though intermittent, incurable....
• Kilt, n. A costume sometimes worn by Scotchmen in America and Americans in Scotland.
  -- Ambrose Bierce "The Devil's Dictionary...
• MOUTH, n. In man, the gateway to the soul; in woman, the outlet of the heart.
  -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...