Related:

• After twelve years of therapy my psychiatrist said something that brought tears to my eyes.
  He said, 'No hablo ingles.' -- Ronnie Shake...
• My psychiatrist tells me to use mental floss.
• My first psychiatrist said I was paranoid, but I want a second opinion because I think he's out to get me.
  -- Tom Wilson ("Ziggy")...
• Dad taught me about love. When I was 14 he said, "Larry, someday you're gonna meet a girl that's gonna be so right and so wonderful and so perfect that you're not even gonna haggle over price.
  -- Larry "Bubbles" Brow...
• Lisa: Anyway, Mom, maybe you should go into therapy.
  Marge: No, I don't need therapy, I'm fine. And it's too expensive....
• Maybe next year I'll work on my procrastination.
• Bother! said Pooh, as he underwent aversion therapy.
• They call it football, but the object of the game is to bash the other guy so hard that he's eventually carried off the field on a stretcher.
  I can't watch football anymore. My psychiatrist said it's better that way....
• My psychiatrist is Dr. Hannibal Lecter.