Related:

• Anybody abuse rental cars? If I'm really bored I'll take one to Earl Scheib and have it painted for $
  29.95. This really messes up their paperwork for months and months....
• In the midst of life we are in death. -- Book of Common Prayer -- The Burial Service
• Marketing is a fashionable term. The sales manager becomes a marketing vice-president.
  But a grave digger is still a grave digger even when he is called a mortician- only the price of burial goes up....
• Earth to earth, ashes to ashes, dust to dust, in sure and certain hope of the resurrection.
  -- Book of Common Prayer -- The Burial Service...
• Nowadays everything we have is taxed - even our patience.
• Are condoms adequate protection? Nope, you'll also have to have fire and casualty, even if you don't drive.
• Our suicidal poets (Plath, Berryman, Lowell, Jarrell, et al.
  ) spent too much of their lives inside rooms and classrooms when they should have been trudging up mountains, slogging through swamps, rowing down rivers....
• Lisa: It's an ancient Indian burial ground... Ba
  Man, this place has got everything! -- "Bad Dream House" in "Treehouse of Horro...
• My hotel room is so small that when I die they won't have to put me in a casket.
  They'll just put handles on the room. -- Herb Shrine...