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• You know you've been hacking too long when... ...you dream you have to write device drivers for your refrigerator, washing machine, and other major household appliances before you can use them.
• According to the National Crime Survey administered by the Bureau of the Census and the National Institute of Justice
  it was found that only 12 percent of those who use a gun to resist assault are injured, as are 17 percent of those who use a gun to resist robbery....
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• Laws of Gardening 1) Other people's tools work only in other people's yards.
  2) Fanzy gizmos don't work. 3) If nobody uses it, there's a reason....
• A new food additive, derived from the sweat on Michael Jackson's hands after a concert.
  It will be used mostly in confections requiring a smooth texture....
• A man is only as good as the tool he uses.
• Research professors do it only if they get grants.
• Penalties against possession of a drug should not be more damaging to an individual than the use of the drug itself.
  -- President Jimmy Carter, Message to Congress, August 2, 1977...