Related:

• This is 234-3249, and no, it's not Pete's Pizzaria.
  It's not the Credit Union either, and no one named Pam lives here....
• This is Frank. You can leave me a message, but I must warn you I get annoyed with messages that are hard to read.
  So please use your shift key appropriately, avoid overdoing punctuation, and spell-check your message, or I might ignore it....
• Hi. This is Kevin and Diana's vacuum cleaner. Their appliances have switched jobs again, and I get to answer the phone 'cause my old job sucked.
  So leave a message after you hear the beep, and you can be sure it's in the bag....
• Lindsey's not home now. This is his domestic droid speaking.
  I'm not programmed to answer the phone, so just leave a message, and Lindsey will get back to you as soon as possible....
• To the Batmobile! Let's go! Atomic batteries to power!
  Turbines to speed! Roger, ready to move out! (Theme music from Batma...
• After a power outage:) Hi, this is Ralph. The good news is that my power is back on.
  The bad news for you is, so is my answering machine....
• This is Alan. Leave me a message and tell me what I can do to.
  .. I mean, do FOR you. -- Answering machine madness - playing with the calle...
• I don't exist at the moment, but if you leave your message, name and number, I'll call you back when I am.
  .. (or) I'm only here in spirit at the moment, but if you'll leave your name and number, I will get back to you as soon as I'm here in person....
• This is Jeff, you're not in now, so I'll leave a message.
  -- Answering machine madness - befuddle the calle...