Related:

• Hi. This is Kevin and Diana's vacuum cleaner. Their appliances have switched jobs again, and I get to answer the phone 'cause my old job sucked.
  So leave a message after you hear the beep, and you can be sure it's in the bag....
• Lindsey's not home now. This is his domestic droid speaking.
  I'm not programmed to answer the phone, so just leave a message, and Lindsey will get back to you as soon as possible....
• Hi, this is John's answering machine again. He's gone and left me for a sleazy microwave he met at Krazy Eddy's.
  Life sucks. (or) Hi! John's answering machine is broken....
• Answering machine message My answering machine now has the new AT&T incoming phone caller I.
  D. digital print-out. So leave a message or I'll know you hung up on my machine......
• To the Batmobile! Let's go! Atomic batteries to power!
  Turbines to speed! Roger, ready to move out! (Theme music from Batma...
• Hello, this is Sally's microwave. Her answering machine just eloped with her tape deck, so I'm stuck taking her calls.
  Say, if you want anything cooked while you leave your message, just hold it up to the phone....
• Hi, this is John's answering machine. He's not here, but I'm open to suggestions.
  -- Answering machine madness - machine theme...
• To the tune of "Ride of the Valkyries":) Leave a message.
  .. Leave a message... -- Answering machine madness - mainly musical theme...
• You know what I hate about answering machine messages?
  They go on and on, wasting your time. I mean, all they really need to say is, "We aren't in, leave a message....