Related:

• Harry, a golfing enthusiast if there ever was one, arrived home from the club to an irate, ranting wife.
  "I'm leaving you, Harry," his wife announced bitterly....
• Smithers: [feeding him] Here comes the endangered condor into the power lines.
  .. I've got Bobo hot from the dryer. Careful not to burn yourself on his eye....
• I could be a country-western singer. I just got done writing my latest song
  If I had met you earlier, I would have gotten rid of you long before now....
• One thing that's always available on a golf course is advice.
  If you play like I do, you think everybody knows something you don't know....
• Burns: Now before we begin, let me make one thing clear for you.
  I want your legal advice. I even pay for it. But to me you're all vipers!...
• A man sank into the psychiatrist's couch and said, "I have a terrible problem, Doctor.
  I have a son at Harvard and another son at Princeto...
• My analyst told me that I was right out of my head, But I said, "Dear Doctor, I think that it is you instead.
  Because I have got a thing that is unique and new, To prove it I'll have the last laugh on you....
• Guru Saj: You must be Ross. Ross: Hi. Guru Saj: I am Guru Saj.
  (takes the drawer back and replaces) Ross: Listen, I got to tell you I_ve-I_ve never been to a guru before, so....
• Ned: I don't like the service at the post office. You know, it's all "rush rush!
  get'cha in, get'cha out!" Then they've got those machines in the lobby, they're even faster, no help there....