Related:

• The world is full of fatheads... -- Mystery Science Theatre 3000
• So I invented diet shampoo! -- Mystery Science Theatre 3000
• Ah, excuse me, Death? Where is thy sting? -- Mystery Science Theatre 3000
• Just remember, he knows more than you do!" "I have a Master's Degree!
  "In SCIENCE!" -- Duck's Breath Mystery Theatre's Ask Mr. Science...
• Daddy, Daddy, make Santa Claus go away! I can't, so
  he's grown too powerful. HO HO HO!...
• He offered her a Round the World Cruise. Too late she learned, it was only a spin on his water bed.
• PHILISTINE, n. One whose mind is the creature of its environment, following the fashion in thought, feeling and sentiment.
  He is sometimes learned, frequently prosperous, commonly clean and always solemn....
• As good almost kill a man as kill a good book: who kills a man kills a reasonable creature, God's image
  but he who destroys a good book kills reason itself. -- John Milton (1608-1674) -- Areopagitica...
• No man knows what true happiness is until he gets married. By then, of course, its too late.