Related:

• The price of Christmas toys is outrageous--a hundred dollars, two hundred dollars for video games for the youngsters.
  I remember a Christmas years ago when my son was a kid....
• They spend years searching for their natural parents, convinced their parents will be happy to see them.
  I mean, really, can you imagine someone being happy to see an orphan?...
• I tell ya, I was an ugly kid. I was so ugly that my dad kept the kid's picture that came with the wallet he bought.
  -- Rodney Dangerfield...
• He can remember the night he lost his innocence in the back seat of the family car.
  It would have been even more memorable if he hadn't been alone. -- Red Butto...
• Kearney: Ah, you'll do fine. My divorce was tough on my kid, but he got over it.
  [sits back to reveal a miniature doppelganger] Kid...
• Gee, if some snot-nosed little kid sent me to prison, the first thing out, I'd find out where he lives, and tear him a new belly button.
  -- Homer Simpson Cape Feare...
• The advice you give a kid is considered dumb until he gets the same advice from another kid.
  -- Doug Larso...
• Homer: Gee, if some snot-nosed little kid sent &l
  me> to prison, the first thing out, I'd find out where he lives, and....
• Hey, sometimes a guy just likes his skin to look its yellowest.
  -- Bart takes a bath, "The New Kid on the Block...