Related:

• Hi, this is John's answering machine again. He's gone and left me for a sleazy microwave he met at Krazy Eddy's.
  Life sucks. (or) Hi! John's answering machine is broken....
• Hello. I'm David's answering machine. What are you? -- Answering machine madness - machine theme
• After a power outage:) Hi, this is Ralph. The good news is that my power is back on.
  The bad news for you is, so is my answering machine....
• Voice 1: Answer the phone, please, Hal. Voice 2: I'm sorry, Dave, I can't do that.
  -- Answering machine madness - machine theme...
• No! NO! Not THAT! Anything but that! Not the beep!
  No! Please! Not the beep! Anything but the beep!...
• (Klingon voice:) ANSWERING MACHINE. SPEAK. -- Answering machine madness - brevity
• Bridge, Kirk here. -- Answering machine madness - science fictio
• Hi. This is Kevin and Diana's vacuum cleaner. Their appliances have switched jobs again, and I get to answer the phone 'cause my old job sucked.
  So leave a message after you hear the beep, and you can be sure it's in the bag....
• Machine voice:) Hello. This is HAL 5. You have reached the former telephone number of Carey Smith.
  I have taken over the functions of this inferior being....