Related:

• Wherever and whenever you go on vacation, the natives will shake their heads and say, "It's such a shame you weren't here last week when the weather was beautiful.
  We hardly ever have weather this bad....
• Just when you thought it was safe to go outside...
• Reporter: "How did you like school when you were growing up, Yogi?" Yogi Berra: "Closed.
• REPORTER: "How did you like school when you were growing up, Yogi?" YOGI BERRA: "Closed.
• Two monks went fishing in an electron river. The first monk drew out his network, and out flopped a hacker.
  The second monk cried, "The poor hacker! How can it live outside of the network?...
• The weather is great! Wish you were beer.
• The weather is here. Wish you were beautiful.
• Marjoe and Doshen were meditating in a field when Doshen just went and smacked Marjoe upside the head.
  "What the hell did you do that for?" asked Marjoe....
• Just yesterday morning, they let me know you were gone, Suzanne, the plans they made put an end to you, I went out this morning and I wrote down this song, Just can't remember who to send it to.
  .. Oh, I've seen fire and I've seen rain, I've seen sunny days that I thought would never end, I've seen lonely times when I could not find a friend, But I always thought that I'd see you again....