Related:

• Old Ladies Two old ladies were waiting for a bus and one of them was smoking a cigarette.
  It started to rain, so the old lady reached into her purse, took out a condom, cut off the tip and slipped it over her cigarette and continued to smoke....
• Henry James was one of the nicest old ladies I every met. -- William Faulkne
• An old timer is one who remembers the time when street people were city sanitation workers.
• You gotta keep changing. Shirts, old ladies, whatever. -- Neil Young
• TOPE, v. To tipple, booze, swill, soak, guzzle, lush, bib, or swig.
  In the individual, toping is regarded with disesteem, but toping nations are in the forefront of civilization and power....
• An old man is lying on his deathbed with all his children, grandchildren and great-grandchildren gathered around, teary-eyed at the approaching finale of a deeply loved family member.
  The old man is in a light coma, and the doctors have confirmed that the waiting will be over within the next twenty-four hours....
• Homer: So, little Lisa, apple of my eye: how are things down at the old schoolhouse?
  Lisa: I find this demeaning and embarrassing beyond my worst nightmares....
• Ladies and gentlemen, the ten-year old who's brave and bold, when he's not in class, he's risking his ass, the world's greatest daredevil, Bart Simpson!
  -- Announcer in Bart's dream, "Bart the Daredevil...