Related:

• On or about October 19, 1745 a man named Johnathan Swif
  or a spelling near unto this, died, or is said to have died, since the vital signs, the majority of them at least, are alleged not to have been present....
• Much to his Mum and Dad's dismay, Horace ate himself one day.
  He didn't stop to say his grace, he just sat down and ate his face....
• He preferred an honest man that wooed his daughter, before a rich man.
  I would rather," said Themistocles, "have a man that wants money than money that wants a man....
• You can't cheat an honest man. He has to have larceny in his heart in the first place.
• An elderly man stands in line for hours at a Warsaw meat store (meat is severely rationed).
  When the butcher comes out at the end of the day and announces that there is no meat left, the man flies into a rage....
• I Think I May Have Eaten There Myself Department: A man left a restaurant with a sandwich for which he had not paid, at high noon.
  He was quickly apprehended by the police and had the evidence in hand at the time....
• Quote #550 "I could tell you stories about this road we shall be traveling
  he old man told his young companions as he leaned on his staff and stroked his silver beard, "of how it was built by Dwarves of the Barad-dur in the days of Thranduil the Great, numberless years before the Elves of the Ered Luin left their silver woods in Lindon, sailed their ships over the Western Sea, and passed from the knowledge of men, but what would you learn from these tales, except that I squandered my college years reading far too much Tolkien instead of meeting girls....
• Two men came before Nasrudin when he was magistrate.
  The first man said, This man has bitten my ear -- I demand compensation....