Related:

• Above a condom vending machine: For refund insert baby.
• When my freshman roommate at Cornell found out I was Jewish, she was, at her request, moved to a different room.
  She told me she didn't think she had ever seen a Jew before....
• Fortunately, I had a backup dated 07/26/90.
• I managed to say, "Sorry," and no more. I knew that he disliked me to cry.
  This time he said, watching me, "On some occasions it is better to weep....
• That boss of yours must be a real prick," commiserated the fellow in response to his date's bitter complaints about the situation in her office.
  Not really," said the girl, "He's such a phony that I prefer to classify him as a dildo....
• I know a girl who broke every date she had--she went out with them. -- Bob Melvi
• I want a good girl ... and I want her bad. -- Donald McGill
• While walking down a crowded City street the other day
  I heard a little urchin To a comrade turn and say, "Say, Chimmey, lemme tell youse, I'd be happy as a clam If only I was de feller dat Me mudder t'inks I am....
• She's the only girl in the world who can burn a stove .
  .. Eating her cooking is like playing Russian roulette....