Related:

• Homer: Dad, how come you never gave me any encouragement?
  Maybe I could have been something more than I am....
• Jacques: First, you must get to know your lane. Feel the slickness, feel the slippery finish.
  Caresses it, experience it. Quite smooth, isn't it?...
• There are two jazz musicians who are great buddies.
  They hang out and play together for years, virtually inseparable....
• Every politician we have, liberal or conservative, who gets caught drinking or chasing women is thrown out of office.
  It's backwards. It's more dangerous to have a clean-living President with his finger on the button....
• Seems this fellow was suffering from terrific headaches, and went to his doctor about it.
  The physician made a number of tests, and informed the man that the only thing for his headaches was castration....
• USA Today has come out with a new survey - apparently, three out of every four people make up 75% of the population.
  -- David Letterma...
• The women can come back out now, Scheibe has gone.
• Marge: Now wait a minute, I'm not sure about this. Every time we've ever gone on vacation I end up being horribly embarrassed.
  We end up in a big fight and we come home more miserable than when we left....
• Troi: "Mister Dokachin, we must find this ship and you're the only one who can help us.
  Dokachin: "Who are you?" Troi: "Deanna Troi, ship's counselor....