Related:

• Jacques: First, you must get to know your lane. Feel the slickness, feel the slippery finish.
  Caresses it, experience it. Quite smooth, isn't it?...
• Lisa: That's the book I need. You'll probably take forever with it, too.
  Hugh: I can read faster than you. Lisa: I read at a 78th grade level....
• Bart: Wow, Lisa, looking at you makes me want to get married for a third time.
  I met a really nice exotic dancer the other night at Hugh's bachelor party....
• Hugh: I've never met anyone who so understood the magic of Jim Carrey.
  Lisa: He can make you laugh with no more than a frantic flailing of his limbs....
• Hugh: I must say, you were right. This has been quite trying.
  You know, I've attempted to enjoy your family on a personal level, on an ironic level, as a novelty, as camp, as kitsch, as cautionary example....
• Woman: I've been waiting for you, Lisa. Lisa: [gasps] How did you know my name?
  Woman: Your nametag. ["Hi, I'm Lady Lisa"] Would you like to know your future?...
• Lisa: Look, we got a package from the Mr. Sparkle company in Japan.
  Homer: Ooh! [opens package, but only Styrofoam packing peanuts spill out....
• An eighty-year-old woman is rocking away the afternoon on her porch when she sees an old, tarnished lamp sitting near the steps.
  She picks it up, rubs it gently, and lo and behold a genie appears!...
• Duncan [Phoebe's Husband]: Oh God, I don't know how to tell you this.
  I'm straight. Phoebe: Huuh. Duncan: Yeah, I know, I....