Lisa: I've Got Some Textbooks But Without State-approved Syllabi And Standardized Testing My Education Can Only Go So Far.

Jacques: First, you must get to know your lane. Feel the slickness, feel the slippery finish.
Caresses it, experience it. Quite smooth, isn't it?...
Bart: Please don't make me stay, dad. I'll do anything you say.
I'll find religion! I'll be good sometimes!...
Bart: Look, Mom, it feels really weird having you on my turf.
How would you feel if I started mopping the floor?...
Homer: Welcome to the Simpson residence or "casa de Simpson," as I call it.
Grimes: Yeah, what did you want to see me about, Simpson?...
Homer: [expansive] So, how was everybody's day at school?
Bart: Horrifying! Lisa: Pointless! Marge: Exhausting....
Lisa: Oh, Mom, please? You can make this my birthday *and* Christmas presents.
Marge: You already used up your birthday and Christmas presents on that peach tree we got you....
Bart: Can I come to the candy show, huh, huh? Can I, can I?
Huh, huh, huh? Can I? Can I? Lisa: No, me!...
Lisa: Hi, Mom. Marge: Lisa! Hello. How are you doing in England?
Remember, an elevator is called a "lift", a mile is called a "kilometer", and botulism is called "steak and kidney pie"....
Burns: But they're so wretchedly adorable. 25 little Rory Calhouns.
..I can't do it. But I can kill you. [Lisa whimpers like a puppy] No, I can't kill you either....