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• This is the darkest day in the history of Springfield.
  If anybody wants me I'll be in the shower. -- Homer Simpson Lemon of Troy...
• Martin: Aw, a car impound lot: the impenetrable fortress of suburbia!
  Milhouse: We'll never get the tree back now. Ba...
• Ned: OK, folks, look: I called the police captain in Shelbyville.
  He says he hasn't seen our kids, but if they show up in the morgue, he'll fax us....
• Homer: No one in history has ever done anything this clever!
  On the plan to get back Springfield's Lemon Tree, stolen by Shelbyville, by parking the van illegally, so it is towed into the parking lot where the tree is kept, from which they all sneak out at night....
• Homer: [yawns] Oh, it's great to be indoors with my family.
  Lisa: I'm really glad you're back, Dad. I knew you could do it....
• Homer: That tree's been in Springfield since the time of our forefathers.
  Give it back or we'll bust in there and take it! Homer2...
• Doctor: Krusty, your plastic surgery is complete. Now, when I remove the bandages, don't be alarmed by the total stranger staring back at you.
  [hands him a mirror] Krusty: Aah! I look exactly the same, you moron!...
• Jacques: First, you must get to know your lane. Feel the slickness, feel the slippery finish.
  Caresses it, experience it. Quite smooth, isn't it?...
• Marge: {Where are you going, Bart?} Bart: {Mom, you won't believe this, but something you said the other day really got through to me.
  } Marge: {[happy] Mmm!} Bart: {And now, I am going to teach some kids a lesson....