Related:

• Ned: Oh, Warren, I know your dad is in prison, but don't you fret!
  A special celebrity dad has been arranged for you....
• Marge: We've always tried to be good parents. Please!
  I'm begging you, one mother to another. You must have a family?...
• Jacques: First, you must get to know your lane. Feel the slickness, feel the slippery finish.
  Caresses it, experience it. Quite smooth, isn't it?...
• Dick: Well, my time's almost up here, so, uh, I'd just like to say.
  ..I know Woody Allen. [a couple of people clap halfheartedly] Home...
• Homer: Kids, I wanna give you some words to remember me by, if something happens.
  Let's see...er...Oh, I'm no good at this. Lisa: [whispers into Homer's ear] Home...
• Moe: {When I say, "Put your beer on a coaster," I mean it!
  } Hans: {You call that a knife? This is a knife! [pulls a huge blade from his cane] [It's too heavy for him to hold up] [weakly] Ooh, down I go....
• Alan: Hi, I'm Alan. I'm your copilot. Homer: Uh, yeah, uh, hmm.
  Er, uh, as a change of pace, I'm going to let you do most of the work....
• Bart flicks a pocket knife open and closed repeatedly] Ma
  You call that a knife? _This_ is a knife. Ba...
• Bart: [to himself] Look, Homer won't want to go, so just ask him and he'll say "No.
  Then it'll be his fault. Homer: [to himself] I don't want to go, so if he asks me to go, I'll just say, "Yes!...