Related:

• Homer: Hey! We could be a team... [at the counter] Excuse me, but my _team_ is ready to bowl.
  Kid: You're short one person. Homer: [seeing Otto] Uh, that longhaired freak's bowled with us for years....
• Jacques: First, you must get to know your lane. Feel the slickness, feel the slippery finish.
  Caresses it, experience it. Quite smooth, isn't it?...
• Marge: I'm going into the dining room to have a conversation.
  Anyone who wants to join me is welcome. [she walks off] Marge...
• Smithers: [chuckles] Perfect. When I give the signal, you transfer the call to Mr.
  Burns. After she tears into him I'll rush in and save the day....
• I'm tired of being a wanna-be league bowler, I wanna be a league bowler!
  -- Homer Simpson Team Home...
• An ambitious and aggressive mother conned pianist Arthur Rubinstein into listening to her 10-year-old son murder a nocturne by Chopin.
  At the conclusion of the massacre, Rubinstein announced, "Madam, that is undoubtedly the worst piano playing I ever heard....
• Homer: Woo hoo! I'm so glad to have my mom back. I never realized how much I missed her!
  Marge: [pause] She's nice. Homer: But...? Marge: I just don't think you should get too excited about the woman who abandoned you for 25 years....
• Homer: I can't tell you how sorry I am, Dad. Grampa
  Is someone talking to me? I didn't hear anything....
• I asked my mother for a mind of my own, but she said no.