Related:

• A customer was bothering the waiter in a restaurant.
  First he asked that the air-conditioning be turned up because he was too hot, then he asked it be turned down cause he was too cold and so on for about half an hour....
• Bart: [on the phone] Yes, Dad, I solemnly swear I will not tell another living soul.
  ... No, not even Millhouse. [hangs up] [intense, but brief, mental struggle] [dials phone] Hello, Millhouse?...
• Krusty: Hey, kids! It's story time. [laughs] I'm going to tell you the story of Krusty's expensive new sui
  his sexual harassment suit. [laughs painfully] Boy....
• Homer: [panicky] Oh my God, I'm going to be sucked into a black hole
  I'm going to be sucked into oblivion, I'm going to be nothing, and what's going to be coming out the other side, I don't know!...
• Ned: Calm down, Neddly diddily diddily diddily, doodily.
  They did their best shodaiddily iddily iddily diddily diddily....
• Marge: Hello? Wiggum: Uh, Mrs. Simpson, I have some bad news.
  Your husband was found DOA. Marge: Oh, my God!...
• I believe you have the wrong number," said the old gentleman into the phone.
  You'll have to call the weather bureau for that information....
• I got in a fight one time with a really big guy, and he said, "I'm going to mop the floor with your face.
  I said, "You'll be sorry." He said, "Oh, yeah? Why?...
• Grampa: What's the matter, boy? Homer: Nothing. Grampa
  You haven't said poo all night and usually I have to wrestle the bucket [of `Shakespeare's Fried Chicken'] out of your greasy mitts....