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• I think Smithers picked me because of my motivational skills.
  -- Homer Simpson Homer the Smithe...
• Homer: It's Mr. Smithers, he's calling for you. Smithe
  [on a beach] How's everything going there, sir? Well, I have a lot of....
• Burns: {I don't remember writing a check for bowling.
  } Smithers: {Uh, Sir, that's a check for your _boweling_....
• Smithers: Oh my God! I knew I shouldn't have left..
  . Burns: Ah, welcome back Smithers. Say, do you know Homer Simpson, he pitched in around the office while you were away....
• Smithers: That's Homer Simpson. He wasn't exactly a model employee.
  Burns: Well, who a model [sees Smithers sans skull, just brain] employee....
• Burns: The one who shot me was...[camera pans to Smithers] Aah!
  Aah! Waylon Smithers! Smithers: [pained] Noo! Wait a minute...
• Burns: You should've seen the murderous glint in his eyes, Smithers.
  And his breath reeked of beer and pretzeled bread....
• Homer: [yelling from his window] Uh, Mr. Smithers? I don't understand 2,700 of my new duties.
  Smithers: Well, the van's leaving; which one duty is giving you the most trouble?...
• Homer: I'm really sorry I hit you Mr. Burns. Here, let me put some salt on that eye.
  Burns: [frightened] No, please, I can't bear another trashing....