Related:

• Moe: D'oh, he's going to ruin everything! All right, that's it, Home
  either Burns goes, or Moe goes. Apu: Yes, I am afraid that I am going to have to make a similar threat with my name in place of Moe's name....
• Burns: Ahoy-hoy? Homer: [speaking through a kazoo] Hello, Mr.
  Burns. This is the kidnapper. Do you miss your son?...
• Smithers: [chuckles] Perfect. When I give the signal, you transfer the call to Mr.
  Burns. After she tears into him I'll rush in and save the day....
• Homer: Larry, there's only one sure way to make him realize how much he loves you.
  And that is a phony kidnapping. Larry: Yeah, right....
• Burns: Throw him out, Smithers! Homer: You don't have to do that, Mr.
  Burns. I can throw <myself> out....
• Burns: How does he do it, Smithers? Smithers: He's a love machine, sir. -- "Homer's Night Ou
• Burns: {[to players] Men, there's a little crippled boy sitting in a hospital who wants you to win this game.
  I know because I crippled him myself to inspire you....
• Burns: [groaning] Ohh! I need some more ether. I can still feel the movement of the emory board.
  Smithers: [checks bottle] We're fresh out, Sir. I'll get some more....
• Smithers: Er, um, there's some candy right here, Sir.
  [points to a box] Why don't we eat this instead of stealing?...