Related:

• Kent: When cat burglaries start, can mass murders be far behind?
  This reporter isn't saying that the burglar is an inhuman monster like the Wolfman, but he very well could be....
• Kent: Mr. Simpson, how do you respond to the charges that petty vandalism such as graffiti is down eighty percent, while heavy sack-beatings are up a shocking nine hundred percent?
  Homer: Aw, people can come up with statistics to prove anything, Kent....
• Kent: Well, what do you say to the accusation that your group has been causing more crimes than it's been preventing?
  Homer: Oh, Kent, I'd be lying if I said my men weren't committing crimes....
• Announcer: In the opening credits, what does the cash register say when Maggie is scanned?
  The cash register says, "NRA4EVER", just one of the hundreds of radical right-wing messages inserted into every show by creator Matt Groening....
• Man: You may be interested to know that for my next crime, I'll be pinching the pride and joy of the Springfield Museum -- the world's largest cubic zirconia.
  Homer: Listen, Mr. Cat Burglar, I vow to go without sleep and guard the Springfield Museum day and night for as long as it takes from now on....
• I am not sure what this is, but an `F' would only dignify it. -- English Professo
• I am not sure what this is, but an `F' would only dignify it.
  -- English Professo...
• Leela: Hey, you know what might be a hoot? Professor: No. Why would I know that?