Related:

• Tony, you're my agent. You _have_ to do something about this.
  ...How can it be the same movie if they've changed my character from a convenience store clerk to a jittery eskimo firefighter?...
• Jacques: First, you must get to know your lane. Feel the slickness, feel the slippery finish.
  Caresses it, experience it. Quite smooth, isn't it?...
• Apu: Ah, my old Squishee machine. And my scum bucket with fly!
  And a whole check list. Woods: Hey, you're Apu Nahasapeemapetilon, aren't you?...
• Woods: Apu, you saved my life. And as a small token of my appreciation, I got you your job back at the Kwik-E-Mart.
  Apu: Oh...oh, Mr. Woods, your -- Woods: But as for me, I'm off to battle aliens on a faraway planet....
• Apu: You see, whether igloo hut, or lean-to, or a geodesic dome, There's no structure I have been to, which I'd rather call my home.
  When I first arrived, you were all such jerks, But now I've come to looooooove your quirks....
• Homer: You better have a good reason for doing that, boy.
  Jimbo: It makes me feel like a big man. Homer: Let me check my reason list....
• While hunting, a man saw a beautiful nude woman come running out of the woods and disappear across the clearing.
  Just as she got out of sight, three men dressed in white uniforms came running out of the same woods....
• Lenny: You want another card or not? Homer: Huh? Oh, OK.
  I'll take three. [Moe deals them] D'oh! D'oh! D'oh!...
• Homer: Ooh, you like sweets, kids? I know a place that's sweeter than sweetness itself.
  In this sweet place, earthly donuts are sour as poison -- you'd spit them out, you would!...