Related:

• Rev.: Marge is going to tell us about your faults, why don't you tell us about hers?
  Homer: Oh, she's perfect. Rev.: Come on, Homer, what are her faults?...
• A marriage can't be reconciled in a few hours, Homer.
  It takes a whole weekend to do that! -- Rev....
• Marge: He chews with his mouth open, he gambles, he hangs out at a seedy bar with bums and lowlifes.
  Homer: [covers his face] Oh, it's all true! Rev.: Homer, don't interrupt....
• Rev.: We must bait our hooks with honesty. That way, a happy marriage, heh heh, won't be the one that got away.
  Homer: I see. [sotto voce] He also understands bowling expressions....
• Ah, three couples. Our best turnout yet! -- Rev.
  Lovejoy opens the marriage counseling retreat, "War of the Simpso...
• Ned: Homer, God didn't set your house on fire.
  Rev. Lovejoy: No, but He <was> working in the hearts of your friends and neighbors when they came to your aid, be they [points to Ned] Christian, [Krusty] Jew, or [Apu] ....
• Homer: Oh, good. Reverend Lovejoy will make Marge take me back!
  He _has_ to push the sanctity of marriage, or his God will punish him!...
• Rev.L: [reluctantly, to phone] Hello, Ned. Ned: Sorry to bother you, Rev.
  Lovejoy, but I'm kind of in a tizzy. My son Todd just told us he didn't want to eat his damn vegetables....